My Crazy Kind of Love Story
by youngandobsessed
Summary: A stunning new attending joins the Scared Heart crew, immediately catching JD's, the Todd's, even Elliott's eye, but she falls for the one doctor that no one expected...Perry Cox Cox/OC First Scrubs fanfic, rated T for now. The more reviews, more updates!
1. Chapter 1: My New Colleague

Chapter 1: My New Colleague

JDPOV

Today began as any other day. I woke up, took Sasha out for my morning drive to the local coffee joint for my morning double mocha latte with a dash of sugar and milk, and headed over to the hospital. As I pulled up, I spotted Turk and Izzy making their way inside.

"Wait up C-Bear!" I called, quickly dismounting Sasha and taking off my helmet to run over to them. Of course, I ended up bumping into the Janitor before I could reach Turk.

"So today's going to be one of those days," growled the Janitor as I stepped back from his tall frame.

"What's 'one of those days'?" I inquired, indulging in his threat.

"You know what I mean," he replied, glaring at me menacingly.

"No, I really don't," I replied earnestly and a bit frustrated that he was holding me up.

"Neither do I," he suddenly realized. "But, whatever it is, today's going to be one of them."

I rolled my eyes and walked over to where Turk and Izzy were waiting.

"Yeah, you better run!" I heard the Janitor call behind me.

Once, I finally caught up, Turk asked, "What was that all about?"

"Oh, you know, the Janitor likes to threaten me," I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"Right," Turk replied, a bit disbelieving. I tried to change the subject.

"So what's crackalackin', brotha?" I asked, doing my best Snoop Dogg impression.

Turk stopped and looked at me. "JD, you know Snoop Dogg greetings ended last week."

"I know, but I'm so good at them I was wondering if we could continue them for another week," I told him, hoping he would go for it.

After a few moments of pondering, Turk finally sighed and agreed, "Yeah, okay, I guess we can go another week."

"Yay!" I exclaimed, before I could do a celebratory leap in the air, I wondered what it would be like for Turk and I to enter the hospital like Snoop Dogg. The pimp walk, the sunglasses, the bling…

"We would be the most crackalackin' doctors in the whole hospital," I thought aloud.

Just then, Snoop Dogg resident himself, passed by and reminded me, "That po-sizzle is already fizzled, my nizzle."

"Oh, Snoop Dogg resident," I cheerfully called after him.

I could see Turk, Izzy, and Carla together at the nurse's station. They looked like the perfect happy family. Secretly, deep down, I was jealous of them because I wish Kim, Sam, and I could be like that. The image of Kim and I standing over Sam's crib watching him flashed in my mind. And then Kim fell over, since the only way we'd ever be together would be if she was a cardboard cutout.

"Dude," Turk said, waving a hand in front of my face. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Hm? Oh, just…" Oh no, I couldn't tell him what I was thinking about! That I was secretly jealous of his family togetherness.

"You were jealous of me, Carla, Izzy, weren't you?" He guessed correctly.

"How'd you know?" I questioned shocked.

"You always look the upper left corner when you're jealous," Turk informed me.

"I can't hide anything from you," I laughed, elbowing him playfully.

"I don't know why you even try," He elbowed back, with much more force. I cringed at the impact.

"Easy, man!" I exclaimed, rubbing my side.

"Sorry, dude." He apologized, shrugging.

As I was massaging my probably broken rib, Elliott came storming in, more huffy than usual. A few straw-blond locks had fallen out of her ponytail and her jacket was slightly askew. It was obvious something was up; she went straight to Carla, and slammed her patient clipboard on the counter of the nurse's station. The sound was loud enough to upset the dozing infant.

"Jeez, Elliott! What was that all about!" exclaimed Carla over Izzy's fussing.

"Well, I was treating this really dreamy, Brad Pitt-look-a-like patient up in the ICU—"

"Mr. Banker?" I blurted out,

"Yeah!"

Turk gave me a look. Oh no, now he might suspect that I'm not really over my Brad Pitt man crush back from Thelma and Louise.

"I mean, uh, who?" I tried to recover.

Elliott dismissed me and continued to recount her story. "So anyway, just when I think him and I are really bonding, I go into his room, date push-up bra on and everything, and his sister's there."

"What's wrong with that?" asked Carla, not seeing a problem.

"Well, then he proceeded to tell me how much he wanted to meet her—"

"Isn't that a good thing? He's introducing you to his family." I interjected.

"Could you just let me finish?" She shot at me in her signature high pitched, fast paced, neurotic tone.

"As I was saying, he introduced me to her to try to set me up WITH HIS SISTER!!"

Carla gasped, both a hand going to her mouth to cover her gape. "Oh, Elliott, he thought you were a…"

"A LESBIAN!!" Elliott shouted.

Suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, The Todd appeared.

"Did The Todd hear someone say lesbian?" he questioned, scanning the group of us gathered.

"No, Todd." Carla lied, passing Izzy off to Turk so she could put an arm around Elliott to comfort her.

"Ya sure?" The Todd pressed, eyeing Carla and Elliott. "I could have sworn I heard it…"

"Beat it!" Carla demanded, entering her intimidating mode.

"Fine, fine," The Todd backed off. "But The Todd's ears rarely ever deceive him."

And with that, he was gone.

"Do I really come off as a lesbian, Carla?" Elliott asked meekly.

"Of course not," Carla soothed.

The Todd reappeared. "I _know _I heard this time!"

Carla and Elliott simultaneously responded "GET OUT OF HERE TODD!"

"I have my eye on you two," he replied glaring at them and sulking back down the hall.

"You know, maybe my mother was right, I've missed my window to find a man." Elliott considered.

Immediately, fantasies of Elliott and another very attractive woman leaning in to kiss came to mind. They were getting closer, and closer, and closer, almost there—

"Listen up, everyone!" Dr. Kelso's voice interrupted my vision, naturally right before the two kissed. Curse Dr. Kelso, curse him.

"We have a new attending doctor joining Sacred Heart today, Alex Jacobs. Alex is a Harvard and Harvard Med graduate, and is transferring here from the best hospital on the east coast. So let's all give him a warm welcome and I'm asking all of you to at least pretend like you have some clue as to what you're doing. That's all," announced Kelso, before striding off.

"See, Elliott, there's a new doctor coming! Smart, accomplished, and I bet he's handsome. Maybe this could be your second chance." Carla encouraged.

"What's the point?" Elliott sighed defeated.

"You're right, with that attitude; you might as well be as lesbian." Carla remarked trying some reverse psychology and tap into Elliott's super-competitive side.

"Stop sounding like my mother!!" Elliot shrieked and stomped off.

Turk leaned over to me and whispered, "Ten bucks on Elliott having a girlfriend by the end of the month."

"Nah, man, the end of this week," I whispered back.

"I say the end of the day," The Todd joined in, again appearing out of nowhere.

Carla rolled her eyes and took Izzy from Turk. "You three are pigs. Come on Izzy, let's go get something to eat and drop you off at daycare."

"I'm going to go comfort Elliott…with my pants!" declared The Todd, raising his hand up for a high-five. Turk and I exchanged stares, it was his turn and he knew it. Reluctantly, Turk lifted his hand for The Todd to smack it with much too much force. The Todd victoriously strutted off.

"Ah man, someone has got to tell that guy to ease up," Turk commented, shaking out the sting that The Todd's notorious high-five left.

"Maybe you should take some of your advice," I scoffed, not forgetting my fractured ribs.

"It was an accident!" he exclaimed in defense.

Before I could argue back, something caught my eye. Well, it was someone really. Everything seemed to slow down as she entered the waiting room. There seemed to be wind blowing through her long, auburn hair as well as her clothing, making them cling tighter to her perfect body. She had a model's gait guiding her pair of long, sexy legs further into the room as her hips slightly swayed from side to side. I didn't know if I was imagining it or not, but her entrancing blue-green eyes and dazzling smile seemed to be directed towards me. The fact that she didn't seem to be wearing any make up, sporting unstyled hair, and was wearing a simple pair of black dress slacks with a none-descript white blouse was even more of a testament to her beauty. I tried blinking a few times, but the goddess remained in view. Perhaps the only thing that wasn't real was the music playing in my head, a song I heard this morning when I was getting my latte, 'Stay Beautiful'.

She stopped in front of Turk and me.

"Hi," she began, her alto voice seemed somewhat nervous. "You two work here, right?"

"Y-yeah," I stuttered, my eyes glued to her.

"Oh, thank God. I'm sorry, I'm new here. My name is Alex Jacobs," she introduced herself, extending her hand.

"Wait, you're Alex Jacobs?" asked Turk as he shook her hand.

"Mmhmm," she confirmed, nodding her head.

"But we thought you were a—"

"A guy?" she completed my sentence as she went to shake my hand. "Yeah, I get that a lot. But no, I'm Alexandria Isabella Jacobs."

"Well, um Alex," I continued to stutter. "It's, uh, nice to meet you."

"You too. I'm sorry, what are your names?" She questioned as our handshake came to an end. Her skin felt so soft, like a newborn baby's bottom.

"Oh, right, duh," I laughed nervously. " I'm JD, and this is Turk."

"JD," she repeated, studying me. "What's that short for?"

"John Dorian, at your service" I replied, my voice dropping an octave or two. Instead of rolling her eyes and walking away like the girl at the bar last night, Alex giggled in response. I'd decided that meant she was some kind of an angel.

She turned her attention to Turk. "Turk?"

"Chris Turk, it's my last name," he clarified. "Now, Alex, if you don't mind me asking—"

"I'm 21. I was homeschooled since kindergarten so I went to college when I was a preteen." Alex replied, apparently reading Turk's mind. Once noticing our astonished expressions she added,"That's frequently asked question number two."

"So you're some kind of super-genius then," I said.

"Only in the classroom. I'm still working on the whole socializing thing. Like right now? Big step for me," confessed Alex, bouncing nervously on her heels.

"Well you're doing a great job so far," Turk assured her.

"Yeah, just watch out for Dr. Cox," I warned.

"Who?"

"Dr. Cox," I reiterated, "He's an attending like you and I"—notice how I so subtly slipped in the fact I was an attending—"he's tough, especially on new doctors and interns. But don't worry, I got you covered, he and I…well, let's just say I'm the godfather of his daughter for a reason."

Please don't ask for the reason, please don't ask for the reason, please don't ask for the reason, please don't ask for the reason, please don't ask for the reason—

"I guess you're the guy to stick around then," smiled Alex. I forgot what I had said when she did that.

"I guess I am," I replied, still unsure what I was agreeing to.

All of a sudden, a beeper sounded. Thankfully, it was Turk's. He fumbled to take it off the clip and to see who it was.

"It's Carla, she needs me to take Izzy. I gotta head, see ya around, it was nice to meet you, Alex." He said jogging away.

"Same to you, Turk!" Alex called back. She laughed to herself, "Turk, what a cool name."

We were alone. Just me and Alex. I racked my brain for something to say…the first thing that came to mind was if she was into doing karaoke duets, since she sounded like she'd be a perfect Sandy to my Danny Zuko. I could just see it now, my greased hair and leather jacket, 'You're the One that I Want' playing, Alex in that tight, black costume, shimmying together…

When I had snapped out of it, Alex was gone. Huh? I scanned the waiting room, I found her walking down the hallway with Dr. Kelso. Double curse him!

"I've figured out what kind of day it's going to be," an unpleasantly familiar voice told me from behind where I was standing.

I turned around, "What kind of day is it going to be? "

The Janitor took a step closer to me, completely invading my personal bubble. "The kind of day where I ruin the already tiny chance you have with _that_—" He was pointing to the back of Alex as she strode with Dr. Kelso down the hall. Have I mentioned that she has a perfectly sculpted bottom?

"It's not going to be one of those days," I said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Oh, really?" he challenged.

"Yeah," I responded, beginning to fear where this might be going.

"Hm, I'll wager you this: if you can get her to go out with you by the end of the day, I won't bother you for all of tomorrow. If you don't, I get to do what I want with you."

"Deal."

Wait, did I say that out loud?

"Shake on it," He demanded, putting out his hand. I went to take it, but he pulled it away right before I could grasp it.

"Oh, too slow," he gloated, running the hand through his hair. I started to leave and he called after me, "I hope you're not afraid of chinchillas!"

Chinchillias?


	2. Chapter 2: Her Warm Welcome

**Thanks for the reviews! Keep it up! So, okay, this chapter gave me hell. Writing a decent Dr. Cox rant is like impossible. Plus, I don't think it measures up to JD's awesomeness. Please tell me what you think!**

Chapter 2: Her Warm Welcome

Alex POV

Although I felt bad about leaving JD in the dust, I couldn't ignore Dr. Kelso, the hospital's chief of medicine. If there was anything my mother taught me, it is was how crucial positive first impressions were. Plus, JD was just kind of staring into space…

So far, Dr. Kelso had been dragging me around the hospital, showing me wings that I would get lost in and introducing me to people whose names I would never remember. Nonetheless, I plastered on a smile and minded my manners.

"Ah, and this is Dr. Reardon, one of our radiology specialists," introduced Dr. Kelso, this must have been the 15448th person I've met today. I still managed to slap a smile on my face and shake hands with the man.

"My cousin went to Harvard," Dr. Reardon told me proudly.

"Really?" I asked, feigning interest. It was surprising how many people who weren't associated with my alma mater always tried to associate themselves with it. Plus, I was 100 positive I wouldn't know this cousin of his.

"Yeah, I'm not sure if you would know him, his name was Johnny Vicario."

I took a moment to pretend like I was trying to remember, as if I really knew any of the people I went to college with. Please, I was a petrified twelve-year-old who would cry after lectures.

"Hm, sorry, I don't think I ever met him." I replied, shrugging my shoulders.

Thankfully, Dr. Kelso's short attention span saved me once again from a lull in the conversation.

"Well, as extremely boring as this all is, we still have to neurology department to meet," Dr. Kelso said as he hurried me along, "Nice to see you again, Ryan."

"It's Brian," Dr. Reardon corrected him slightly offended.

Dr. Kelso at first breathed a "whatever" under his breath before recomposing himself and apologizing, "Of course it is, Ryan."

"BRIAN!" he shouted in frustration as Dr. Kelso and I power-walked down the hall.

"He seemed nice," I commented as I tried to catch up with Dr. Kelso. Jeez, for an 'elderly' guy, he could really hop-to-it.

"He's having an affair with one of the orderlies," he responded casually as if he was telling me that Dr. Reardon preferred broccoli to asparagus.

I gasped and my eyes widened. "You can't be serious!"

"Oh, I'm afraid I am," he responded. "By the way, don't spend too much time in the hospital dark rooms after ten at night."

"Thanks for the tip." I replied, still taken aback by Dr. Reardon and the promiscuous orderly. I wondered how she could ever live with herself, being the 'other woman' and all.

"And this is the ICU," Dr. Kelso proclaimed, motioning to the area that lay before me. Compared to Mount Sinai, everything here at Sacred Heart seemed small and out of date. People seemed a lot more relaxed too, like the janitor I spotted earlier who seemed to be setting up some kind booby trap rather than, you know, cleaning stuff. None of this would have ever flied at where I used to work.

"Impressive," I lied. Blatantly lied.

Dr. Kelso didn't seem to notice. "Yes, well, we here at Sacred Heart pride ourselves on our facilities."

"It definitely shows." Okay, that wasn't totally a lie, because it shows just how little pride they apparently have. Great, now I'm being condescending.

"Feel free to take a look ar—Oh! Nurse Espinosa, this is the new attending from Mount Sinai _and_ the Harvard graduate, Alex Jacobs."

Ugh, all this bragging and showing off made me feel more like some shiny sports car that Dr. Kelso was parading all over the hospital rather than a doctor, or a human being. Even though I kind of wanted to run out of this hospital screaming to the hotel I'm currently living in, I had prepared myself for this. So as Dr. Kelso rattled off my achievements I took to occupying myself by coming up with an excuse to leave for an extended period of time to throw up, a natural occurrence whenever I start a new school or position. Good times…

"Well, with all those accomplishments, I don't know if I'm worthy to be introduced—"

That's my cue.

"Don't be silly, Nurse Espinosa. It's a sincere pleasure," I reassured her reaching out my hand for her to shake it. She looked at me a little funny before taking my hand. I'll admit it, maybe the 'sincere' was a bit much.

"Nice to meet you too," she replied, still a bit weirded out.

Why was I always so awkward? Now I really needed to throw up. It was stupid to have thought that this time was going to be different…

Just then one of the patients in the ICU entered cardiac arrest. Naturally, everyone in the area flocked to the bedside of the patient. I was just standing to the back of the huddle until I noticed something. The young man who was treating her, presumably an intern or resident by the looks of it, was doing the procedure wrong. If he kept that up she'd have no chance of coming out of the heart attack…

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" I shouted, elbowing and shoving people out of the way until I reached the front of the pack. I literally pushed the intern/resident out of the way and frantically rectified the mistakes he'd made.

Soon enough the beeps on the heart monitor slowed, the woman stopped spasming, and her eyes slowly opened. I exhaled in relief.

"And that is why she is making more money than all of you!" Dr. Kelso exclaimed pompously, coming over to me and putting an arm around my shoulder. I cringed as the shocked expressions of everyone quickly transformed into one of loathing of jealousy. Great, this is going to be _exactly_ like last time...

Eventually the crowd dispersed and a miraculous page to Dr. Kelso concerning his wife, a wheelchair, and a shovel left me with Nurse Espinosa.

"That was a great save you made back there," she complimented as I trailed behind her to the nurse's station where she was going to help me get ready for my first shift.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"You don't seem all that happy about it. What, did you see Mrs. Wall over there on America's Most Wanted or something?"

I let out a little laugh before replying "No, well, not that I know of anyway. It's just…now everyone sees me as Dr. Kelso's pet."

"No, I'm sure they don't—"

"Come on, I may be young, but I'm not exactly naïve, Nurse Espinosa." I interjected.

"Carla," she corrected me.

"Carla," I repeated, smiling at the beauty of the name and her kindness towards me. None of the nurses were this nice at Mount Sinai, they had all this unsettled resentment towards the doctors, no matter if they were sixteen and scared out of their minds.

"Don't worry about it," she comforted me in her faint Latin accent, waving her hand dismissively at the matter. "It always takes a little bit for people around here to warm up to new doctors. Just give it some time."

"Thanks," I grinned. I decided to attempt and make small talk without coming off as the social pariah that I've always been. "So how angry do you think that intern's attending is going to be?"

"You have no idea," Nurse—Carla informed me. "That's Dr. Cox's intern and lately he's been in an even worse mood than usual."

This could not be happening. I saved a life and in return I got an intern into, according to Carla, in big trouble. Not to mention that now everybody here hated me.

"No! I don't want that guy to get a verbal beating because of me! Maybe I could talk to this Dr. Cox, he can't be as bad as everyone says he is—"

"Au contraire, I believe all the rumors are true." A voice contradicted from behind me.

I whipped around to find a tall man, in his mid to late 40's, standing in front of me. He had a smug look on his thin lips and an almost wild look in his blue eyes. His name tag confirmed that he was indeed the feared Dr. Cox.

"Dr. Cox, I wanted to speak with you about the little incident today involving Mrs. Wall and one of your interns—"

He cut me off before I could continue, "Lemme guess, you're that old dinosaur's granddaughter, niece, or perhaps even late-in-life baby that wants to lecture me about keeping watch on my interns. Well, heeeere's the deal, Mary Sue, I do the lecturing. That worthless and drunken mistake of a man is now crying in the third floor women's bathroom upon the realization that he in fact _is _a worthless drunken mistake of a man, and shouldn't be practicing medicine in the first place. So much that he's now _seriously _considering going back to his old job of being the big, loveable mascot that is Chucky himself at Chucky Cheese, where he slaved away countless nights and weekends at to put himself through his eight, and now obviously, unnecessary years of college and med school. So instead of getting all uppidity, let's all gather around and thank Dr. Cox for being such a gosh darn good attending."

"What about the doctor that saved Mrs. Wall?" I simply asked, stunned by this man's lung capacity.

The haughty smile on his face after the completion of his rant fell into a grimace. "What, do you mean the Kelso's little punk protégé?"

See! I knew everyone hated me.

"Yes, I mean, if it wasn't for them Mrs. Wall wouldn't be in that bed." I responded motioning over to the patient as I tried to come off as cool as possible.

He glanced at Mrs. Wall and then back at me with a confused expression.

"I'm really not Mrs. Wall's granddaughter, niece…or late in life baby. My name is Alex Jacobs." I told him while the smile that I couldn't hide anymore stretched across my lips.

"And that matters to me because…" pressed Doctor Cox, not able to match the name to the proceeding reputation.

"I'm Kelso's little punk protégé."

I swear that Doctor Cox staggered back a little when I told him. Speedily recollecting himself, he answered, "But where are your huge coke-bottle glasses that you constantly have to push up?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have left them at home with all the other ignorant stereotypes that go along with being a Harvard graduate and Mount Sinai doctor."

Did I really just say that? I _never_ have good comebacks, or in that case, comebacks at all. Most of the time it's a horrible attempt at sticking up for myself followed by me running away before the tears start. And people say that home schooling children is a good thing.

"She got you," said an amused Carla as Dr. Cox glowered at me. Now I see what everyone was warning me about. The longer he glared at me, the more it felt like he had heat vision and was burning two holes in through my flesh. It was so intimidating that I could feel my last meal rising up in the back of my throat.

Again I was rescued by another page coming from Dr. Cox's pager. He took it off his belt, looked at it, and groaned.

"Damn interns," he cursed and started to walk down the bustling hallway. Before he left though, he took one look at me and I swear, growled.

I slowly turned back to Carla with a bewildered expression on my face. "Now I see what everyone was talking about."

She chuckled a little at my face and began to file charts. "Don't look so shocked, you handled him much better than most do on their first encounter."

"Really?" I inquired cocking my head to the side.

"Mmhmm." She nodded but didn't look up from her paperwork.

"There's the surprise of the century," I accidentally voiced my thought aloud.

"If you say so," Carla absentmindedly agreed studying two charts. I took this as opportunity to finally get my ritual vomiting out of the way.

"Um, excuse me, Carla, I'm just going to…uh…go to…use the restroom."

"Of course. Down the hall and to the left." She instructed me remaining engrossed in her filing.

Absorbed in my own thoughts, I took off down the hallway. What on Earth could have possessed me to be so witty and clever to Dr. Cox? And right then and there in the moment too! Usually the great comeback occurs to me at least fifteen minutes after the confrontation.

I was so caught up in myself that I ended up bumping into something. Someone, actually. Thankfully, this person was wearing green scrubs, so it wasn't Dr. Cox. I looked up to see who it was. A guy with dark hair, brown eyes, and a surgeon's cap on even though he obviously wasn't in surgery.

"Doctor!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I questioned worriedly. So worriedly that I jumped a little.

"We've got a situation Doctor…" he replied as his eyes scanned the length of my body and his voice relaxed a little.

"What? Where?" I demanded still just as anxious.

"IN MY PANTS!!" the guy yelled, gesturing to his crotch. You've got to be kidding me, did he just say that out loud? What a perv!

"I'm not a veterinarian." I snapped at him. "I treat people, not _dogs_."

Holy crap! There must be some sarcastic, confidence-inducing particle in the Pacific air, I swear.

He started to pant, bark, and even let out a howl as I rushed past him, more disgusted than before, into the bathroom. I sighed in sweet relief when I at least reached the porcelain figure.


	3. Chapter 3: Their Friendly Advice

Chapter 3: Their Friendly Advice

**Okay everyone, sorry this took so long, I was at a tennis tournament for the weekend, but I made this chapter extra long. (Insert The Todd comment of your choice here) But it was not in vain because my team won! And as we were driving through the middle of nowhere to the tournament, there was actually a road called Alex Jacobs Street! No joke! But enough of my nerdiness, go on and read the chapter. Writing these POV's was tough so please be kind! Remember, reviews are greatly appreciated and make me update sooner!**

Chapter 3: Their Friendly Advice

Janitor's POV

As per usual, I was strolling along the hospital corridors doing my best to seem as if I was actually working. I chuckled to myself at the thought. Me? Working? More chuckling ensued. In fact, I was really pondering the execution of my latest attack on my archenemy. I'd successfully snuck the chinchilla in, collected the marbles, and picked the perfect time to spring it on him—3 o'clock—right after him and Blonde Doctor get their afternoon cup of coffee.

At that moment, a strange noise interrupted me from my strategizing. It wasn't a pleasant sound, but I knew it well. Someone was blowing chunks. Looks like I may have to clean today after all. I listened to track down where it was coming from. My keen sense of hearing led me into the women's bathroom.

When I opened the door, I found a young girl with reddish brown hair exiting a stall. She wiped the corners of her mouth with a piece of toilet paper and exhaled deeply before noticing my presence.

"Oh my God!" she shrieked, clutching her chest, over where her heart would be once she noticed my presence. I studied her more closely and realized that this was the very girl that I made the bet about this morning. So the fates _were_ with me today.

"Was that you that I heard?" I questioned taking a step toward her. She countered my advance with a step back, whether consciously or unconsciously, I was unsure. She was staring at me with wide eyes like a deer caught in the headlights. I remember one time when I hit a deer with my van. I got him stuffed and took him to Drive-Thru windows at various local fast food joints and put him in the driver's seat at the pick-up window. It always scared the living daylights out of whichever teenager was in charge of giving the food to the customer. Those were the days…

Her reply snapped me out of my thoughts. "Yes," she replied embarrassed. "I'm sorry, it's just I get really nervous on the first day of a new school or a job and I just get so overwhelmed that I—" instead of saying actually saying the word vomit, she gestured the action with her hands.

"Got it," I nodded.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized again. Her voice sounded shaky and her eyes seemed to be brimming with tears. "I made a mess and now you have to clean it up and you're going to hate me—"

The sight of a pretty young girl like her on the verge of tears melted my impenetrable interior the slightest bit. So, I made an awkward attempt to comfort her.

"It's alright…I, um…_like_ cleaning up vomit. I get a chance to use my mop-spear."

"Mop-spear?"

I reached back to my cart so I could show her. She cocked her head to one side in mystification. "Why would you need a _mop-spear_?"

"Why _wouldn't_ you need a mop-spear?" I opposed. The concept was obviously lost on her.

"Well, um, only a little got on the floor, I promise!" she assured me.

"Oh, that makes my job easier. Not that my job is all that hard, I am just a janitor—"

She stopped me again. "_Just_ a janitor? If you ask me, you're the _very _underappreciated backbone of the whole hospital."

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Think about it," she continued, all signs of tears vanished from her face. "This is place that treats sick people. Sick people have germs. If the hospital was dirty, there would be more germs and the patients would get even sicker. So you see, doctors like me wouldn't be able to work and the entire hospital wouldn't be able to function at all without you."

I liked this girl, almost as much as Blonde Doctor. Like Blonde Doctor, she was the only doctor around here that actually appreciated what I feigned to do around here. She needed a name. Hmmmm, Young Pretty Doctor. It was unoriginal, I know, but for now it would do.

"Well, th-thank you," I stammered in response.

Now Pretty Young Doctor was beaming brightly. "It's the truth! I should be thanking you for settling me down."

She started for the door but just in time, I remembered what I needed to talk to her about.

"Wait!" I called and she spun around to face me. "You know that guy who you were talking to earlier?"

"Dr. Kelso?"

"No."

"Dr. Cox?"

"No."

"Dr. Reardon?

"Who? No."

"Um, JD?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Yes, him. He likes you."

Pretty Young Doctor's face immediately lit up and then blushed. "Really? Me?"

"Yeah," I replied confused. How could anyone _ever_ find him any less than repulsive? "He's going to ask you out on a date and—"

"Oh my God, NO WAY!" Her face brightened even more in flattery and excitement.

"But you can't say yes," I told her.

Upon hearing this, her joyous expression fell and demanded, "Why not?"

"Because…" My head struggled to think of an excuse. "He's not a good guy."

"What makes him so terrible?" Pretty Young Doctor challenged as she folded her arms over her chest.

"He…um…uh…he smuggles and trades chinchillas on the black market!"

Her jaw dropped. "You're joking!"

"I'm afraid not," I sighed in disapproval to make my story more believable.

"Well thanks for the heads up, but I have to get going. By now Dr. Kelso's probably sent out an army to fetch me." She laughed a little. "See you around…Mr. Janitor!"

And with that she was gone. Mr. Janitor. I liked the sound of that.

Ted's POV

I stood in the hallway listlessly wondering how I was supposed to find this doctor that Dr. Kelso had sent me to retrieve. He told me that she had red hair, white shirt, and looked smarter than I could ever be. That wasn't saying much because there were tons of people who were smarter than I could ever be, especially here at the hospital...

Wait, no, Ted! Recently I'd been working on my self-esteem and trying to not let what Dr. Kelso said get me down. I was smart. I passed the BAR and became a lawyer after all. Of course it took me three tries to pass and my dream of being a successful lawyer at a big firm has vanished completely—

Something caught my eye before I could go any further. A young woman with red hair and a white shirt was sauntering down the hall. I knew this _must_ be her; she did seem much smarter than me. Yet as I went to approach her, some EMT's were rushing down the corridor. They must have not noticed me because they ended up ramming the stretcher they were pushing right into my bad hip. A cry of pain sounded and I fell to the floor.

The doctor I had to bring to Dr. Kelso spun around and rushed to where I was lying without delay. Meanwhile, everyone else kept walking.

"Dear Lord, are you okay?" she questioned. The worry on her face seemed genuine.

"I'm…I'm…I guess I'm okay." I told her, beginning to sweat in reaction to the close proximity to a woman. An attractive woman at that.

The sweating only got more profuse when she offered me a hand to help me up.

"Are you sure you're alright? I mean, those guys hit you pretty hard. Do you need me to check you out or anything?"

I gulped at the thought of her giving me an examination. At how soft and smooth those hands must be…if only I had hair…

"Um, I think I'll be okay. Are you Dr. Jacobs?" I inquired.

"I am, but please call me Alex," she smiled. "Are you a doctor here?"

"No, I'm the lawyer for Sacred Heart, Ted Buckland," I told her. Sometimes I wish I could be a doctor. Or that the Worthless Peons could win at an a cappela festival. Then the chicks would be lining up for me. "Dr. Kelso sent me to find you."

Dr. Jacobs rolled her eyes and sighed when she heard this.

"Of course he is," she muttered under her breath.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh, it's just, not that I don't respect Dr. Kelso or anything, it's just…he's sort of been showing me off to the whole hospital today. I thought I had escaped." She explained.

"You were smart to stay away from him, you should whenever possible. I bet he'd event try to bring you to a fundraiser as a date" I reasoned in a low voice, but Dr. Jacobs heard me.

"Would he?"

"Oh yes, he's very gaudy. And selfish. And condescending. And manipulating. And evil. I wish he would fire me, but he won't just let me out of my misery..."

"Oh," was all Alex said. I could tell that I'd creeped her out. "Well, I'm very sorry."

"Sometimes I wonder which would be easier, flinging myself off the top of the hospital or pushing him," I considered aloud.

This only freaked out Dr. Jacobs more. She opened her mouth to say something, closed it, thought for a second, and then said, "You know what Ted? I think I have a way that you and I can both not have to face Dr. Kelso, at least for a little anyways."

Immediately I perked up. "Really?"

"Mmhmm!" she nodded her head enthusiastically. "We'll pretend that we never met. So if he finds you, you can pretend you were still looking for me and if he finds me, I can pretend I was looking for him."

This Dr. Jacobs was really much smarter than I could ever be. I knew that if Dr. Kelso saw that I hadn't found Dr. Jacobs yet, he would be angrier with me than usual, but for Dr. Jacobs, it was worth it.

"Great idea, Dr. Jacobs!" I exclaimed.

"Ted, please, it's Alex." She insisted.

"Alex," I repeated her name in an effort to commit it to memory.

"So, I've got to get going, but it was very nice to meet you, Ted. Remember, none of this ever happened…" called Alex and disappeared down the hallway.

"Right." I said as I watched her go. What to do with my newfound freedom…

Elliott's POV

My day hadn't improved much since the whole lesbian incident this morning. I had another unpleasant run in with my ex-fiancée, Keith, this morning, Mr. Marshall slipped into a coma before lunch, and they were out of the sugar cookies with the pink frosting. DON'T THEY KNOW THAT THE SUGAR COOKES WITH THE YELLOW FROSTING CONSTAPATE ME FOR DAYS?!

The only thing that was keeping me going was the thought of this new doctor that's coming to Sacred Heart today. I bet he's tall and tan, with brown eyes—no blue—goes on mission trips to Africa, and likes to do manly things in his spare time like play football and fix cars and—

"Um excuse me, do you know where I can find Nurse Espinosa?"

I reluctantly opened my eyes to answer this meddling person's question. When I did, the image of a young girl stood before me. She was totally gorgeous even though she had like no make up on and her hair was simply pulled back into a ponytail. Bitch!

"She's in with a patient right now," I answered, sounding a little curt. "Is she treating a family member of yours or something?"

"Me? No, she's actually helping me with my first shift—"

"So you're an intern," I concluded. Frick. Now I had to deal with overly polite, too- naturally pretty girl everyday.

"Surprisingly no. I'm an attending—"

An attending? What the frick? Wait, it couldn't be…

"—my name is Alex Jacobs."

"I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!" Sang, well more like shouted JD, appearing out of nowhere as soon as Alex said her name.

"THE TASTE OF HER CHERRY CHAPSTICK!" Joined Turk, who also came into view along side of JD.

"I KISSED A GIRL, JUST TO TRY IT!" JD continued as he and Turk began to dance around us.

"HOPE MY BOYFRIEND—"

"Or in Elliott's case, nonexistent boyfriend," pointed out JD as he temporarily pausing his dancing.

"Oh yeah right, good point Vanilla Bear," agreed Turk, who then edited the lyrics to

"HOPE MY NONEXISTANT BOYFRIEND DON'T MIND IT!"

"IT FELT SO WRONG—"

"IF FELT SO RIGHT—"

"DON'T MEAN I'M IN LOVE TONIGHT!"

"I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT!"

All of a sudden The Todd was there too, trying to grind into us, as Alex and I stood there mortified.

"ENOUGH, ENOUGH, GUYS! EW, TODD, GO AWAY! IT'S OVER!" I screeched so loudly, I wasn't sure if the pitch was too high for them to hear.

Alex had to very forcefully push The Todd off of her.

"We meet again," he crooned as he made an attempt to spank her butt, yet she turned away before could.

"Get away from me, you perv!" she cried and turned to a hysterical Turk and JD who were celebrating their victory as they ran down the hall. "What was that all about?"

"Elliott's switching teams," The Todd told her.

"Oh," Alex replied, her jaw dropping a little as her eyes darted to me and then away quickly.

"NO! FRICK OFF TODD!" I shouted and then calmed myself down. "No, it's just, I recently broke off an engagement and I've been having a trouble getting back in the dating world."

"Oh, I see now," Alex understood. "It's okay. I mean I get so scared over new situations that I throw up every time since I have over controlling parents that stressed education so much that I only have book smarts and little to no people skills whatsoever."

Hold on a minute here. Over controlling parents? Book smarts? Little to no people skills? This girl is _totally_ copying me!

"Do you now?" I asked. I considered the situation. Instead of blatantly hating her like I'd originally planned, I should be friends with her and take her down from the inside.

"Yeah," she admitted. "I never really had any friends, I was always so focused on the competitive side of things."

Ugh, she was pulling the sympathy card and it was working. I decided I would offer the olive branch until I could see if she was really worth the despising-energy.

"I'm Elliott Reid by the way," I introduced myself holding out my hand.

"Nice to meet you," she replied with a radiant grin on her face. It made me momentarily forget about being nice to her but at the same time want to ask her out. Damn, JD and Turk were really getting to my head.

"So, Elliott, are all the guys around here that immature?" asked Alex, looking in the direction that Turk and JD had left.

"Unfortunately yes. Well, not all of them. But those who aren't are few and far between, not to mention usually taken." I responded whilst I reflected back on my past hospital relationships; JD, Paul, Keith…

"I figured as much. Like that guy…um Todd? What's his deal?"

"Oh yes, The Todd—"

"Why is there an article in front of his name?" Alex inquired puzzled. Ha, little naïve new girl.

"Well, you just witnessed why. He's the hospital pervert, but he's harmless…sort of." I told her. "You just have to ignore him."

"Understood," she comprehended. "So, Ell—"

"What do you mean you couldn't find her? I sent you to look for her an hour ago! The hospital isn't _that_ big Ted!" reprimanded Dr. Kelso's disembodied voice from around the corner.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I couldn't—"

"I don't want to hear it Ted, it was silly to think that I could trust you with even the smallest task." By now Dr. Kelso and Ted had turned the corner.

"Dr. Reid, have you by chance seen Dr. Jacobs?" he asked.

"What are you talking about Dr. Kelso?" I responded baffled. How fuzzy was this guy getting? "Dr. Jacobs is right—"

I turned around to show him Alex, but she was nowhere in sight. So not only was she copying me and super pretty, she was fast _and_ stealthy. Double frick!


	4. Chapter 4: My Beautiful Letdown

**Okay everyone, sorry this took so long, but I had trouble deciding on whose POV to use and what this chapter is going to be about. I realize it's on the short side, but I have tons of ideas for Chapter 5 so please bear with me! REVIEWS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND!! Just remember that…oh hey! Check out this awesome a cappella version of the Scrubs theme song by Ted's band! /watch?vml9qovv-0E8**

Chapter 4: My Beautiful Letdown

JD's POV

Today had passed painfully slow in anticipation for asking Alex out. I had dumped all my patients on my interns for the afternoon and waited anxiously at the nurses' station. Carla had told me earlier that Alex got off at three today. It was currently… I checked my awesome Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle watch that Turk got me last week… 2:50. I jumped a little with eagerness. My nerves were so intense that not even a game of 'Find the Saltine' with Turk could take my mind off of her.

"It's under your nametag," I told him absentmindedly before Turk even said anything.

"Dude!" Turk exclaimed revealing the saltine from precisely where I guessed it would be. "How did you know?"

"It's where I was going to hide it when it was my turn," I sighed, resting my chin on my head as I leant on the counter of the nurses' station and stared down the hallway wishing that Alex would strut down it. I could just see her now…

Turk simple looked at the saltine and shrugged. "What's going on with you, man? You usually love a good game of 'Find the Saltine'."

Out of the blue, Elliott appeared and demanded, "Are you two still playing that?"

"Nooooo," I lied as Turk shoved the cracker in his mouth to dispose of the evidence.

She groaned and rolled her eyes, "That is _so_ immature."

"Don't be hatin' on us because we totally got you and Alex earlier," I told Elliott, doing a spot-on Snoop Dogg impression. I mean, I know we'd only been doing Snoop Dogg greetings this past week, but the moment was too perfect to pass up.

"G, if you Snoop heard you right now, he would disgrizzled." said Snoop Dogg resident as he passed by in the hallway.

"Oh, Snoop Dogg resident, I know you be playin'!" I called as I settled into my gangsta stance to show him just how Snoop I could really be. He just shook his head and sighed, but inside I knew that Snoop Dogg resident was jealous because now he had competition.

"Um, JD, on second thought, maybe we shouldn't continue Snoop Dogg impression week," suggested Turk. Once he did, it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest…

"But Turk—we'll talk about this later!" I shouted shifting my attention back to Elliott.

I could see the anger bubbling up in Elliott's eyes. "Yeah about that, I really didn't appreciate you making a total and complete idiot—"

"More than usual?" I muttered to Turk.

"--out of me in front of the new, smart, accomplished, not to mention gorgeous—"

"See! I told you she liked her!" I cried out triumphantly.

"JD!" she shrieked. "Could you just shut up?"

"Ugh, fine," I surrendered. While Elliott blubbered on, I revisited my fantasy that I had earlier in the day of Elliott kissing another woman, only this time it was Alex…

Turk nudged me out of my vision, right before the good part of course, signaling that Elliott was wrapping up her shriekfest.

"We're very sorry, Elliott," I apologized.

"Yeah, we weren't planning for The Todd to show up," added Turk.

"It doesn't matter! You guys are really messing with my head! I think I'm actually--" she lowered her voice and checked for the The Todd. "—you know…"

"Pay up! I told you end of the week!" I interrupted Elliott yet again.

"TALKING TO YOU GUYS IS POINTLESS!" She screeched stomping off.

I watched her leave, also scanning the hall to see if my lady there. Much to my disappointment, Alex was nowhere to be found.

"What's up with you and staring down the hallway?" questioned Turk. "You know I was just kidding about the hospital being haunted."

I looked at Turk but he was silver and see-through, like one of the characters at the Haunted Mansion attraction at Disney World. My memory brought me back to that day in my childhood. My brother, Dan, dragging me inside, me crying like a girl, Dan videotaping the whole thing…they lie when they tell you that Disney is the happiest place on Earth.

Snapping myself out of my daze before I started tearing up, I answered Turk, "Nah, man. I'm waiting for Alex."

"Alex…" Turk reiterated her name. "You going to get some of that?" I turned to face him so I could answer but AH! HE WAS STILL A GHOST! Quickly I whipped my head back.

"Maybe," I whimpered. "And are you _sure_ you were kidding that the hospital's not haunted?"

Turk sighed, "For the last time, I AM NOT A GHOST! IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!"

Gradually, I rotated my neck towards Turk to see if he was telling the truth or if ghost Turk was trying to trick me, even though it was only July. Whew, he was back to normal. I clutched my chest, sometimes I give myself such a fright.

"Okay, I'm outta here. If you're going to hook up with a girl like Alex, you can not be seen acting like this." Turk concluded jogging down the hall. "See ya, man!"

"Catch ya later C-Bear!" I called back. Just as I twisted my head in the other direction of the hall, Alex rounded the corner.

It was just like this morning; everything was turned down into slow motion, there was light breeze blowing gently in her path, a glowing smile was on her perfect, fluffy lips as she innocently pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She looked as ethereal as ever. In fact, the only difference between now and this morning was the song playing within the confines of my mind; now a Janet Jackson filled my head. I had a feeling this whole slow-mo-wind-blowing-music-in-my-head-thing was becoming a habit. A habit that I liked.

"Alex," I called to get her attention.

"Hey JD!" she greeted, coming over to me.

"Have you ever thought of being a model?" I asked once she arrived at where I was standing.

She raised one of her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Never mind," I brushed it off quickly as an awkward silence ensued. Okay, now I can't ask her out right away, that would be too forward. I need to make small talk…I wonder if she thinks if the hospital is haunted…

"So, how was your first day?" I inquired.

Alex took a moment to consider her answer and replied, "Weird."

"That sounds about right," I oh-so-cleverly responded. She laughed a glorious laugh, it could put a smile on anyone's face. Actually, I could have sworn that the lips on the corpse that Doug was rolling down the hall to the morgue twitched up in a grin as Alex chuckled.

"Weird in a good way, though, if that makes any sense. This place is just so different from where I used to work, but I like the change." explained Alex, still smiling her striking grin.

Just like this morning, I temporarily forgot about what I was planning on saying all together when she smiled. Model…ghosts…ninja turtles…DATE!

"Well, we're all excited to have you here," I said, beginning to go in for the kill.

"I don't know about that," Alex snorted in disbelief. "But thank you."

"You're welcome." I took a deep breath before taking the plunge, "If you want, I could show where we all like to hang out and you know, buy you a drink."

Alex's perfect face flushed pink for a second as she bit her lip. Take that, Janitor!

"You would do that?" she giggled bashfully.

I looked her in the eye and answered, "Of course."

Her blush became a shade brighter and she opened her mouth. Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes…

Just then it seemed that she remembered something, her expression faltering for a millisecond. "That's really sweet of you JD, but um, today was just so overwhelming for me and honestly, it we went out, I'd probably fall asleep."

Damn! Would it creep her out if I begged her to go in order to save me from whatever the Janitor has planned for me?

"Oh, I should have thought of that," was my reply instead of pleading with her.

"Don't worry about it. Thanks for the offer! I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here," I assured her, hiding my disappointment with a smile.

"Awesome. Have a good night JD," Alex said before she sauntered through the waiting room and out of the hospital doors to Janet Jackson once again.

I let out a sigh of defeat. Now I was a sitting duck for the Janitor. I shrugged it off, I'd been turned down before. Multiple times. Anyway, I had to go check on my interns to make sure they hadn't killed anyone in the 45 minutes I left them on their own. I could just see one of their young, bright faces gasping in horror since they accidentally exposed an allergic patient to peanuts or something and the patient had swelled up or even turned into a peanut. With interns, you could never be sure.

Before I could go anywhere, the Janitor was in front of me searing something on my face.

"There we go," he said proudly once he finished. I swiped at finger across my forehead, studied the gel-like substance, and put it to my tongue. Mmmm, grape jelly.

"What's this for?" I inquired as I motioned to my jelly-masked face.

"Oh, it's his favorite," The Janitor informed me and simply walked away.

I pivoted to yell after him, "Whose favorite?"

I got my answer when I turned back around. A small, rabbit sized, mouse-like critter launched itself at my face. I let out a cry of pain and struggled to get the rodent off of me. My efforts were foiled when all of a sudden, I slipped on several little glass balls that had covered the floor in the area I was standing. I still battled with the animal on the ground as it licked and bit my face. This sucker wouldn't let up!

At last I was able to fight the rabbit-mouse off of me. The creature scurried down the hall in the same direction the Janitor had left. Oh, so _that _was a chinchilla…


	5. Chapter 5: The Playlist So Far

**My Crazy Kind of Love Story**

Playlist:

Chapter 1- Stay Beautiful by the Last Goodnight, song that play's in JD's head when Alex enters: .com/watch?v=H5c2iTcSlbE

Chapter 3- I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry, the song that Turk and JD sing when Elliott and Alex meet: .com/watch?v=o-jFKW4vrCw

Chapter 4- All for You by Janet Jackson, the new song playing in JD's head when Alex approaches: .com/watch?v=H2KabvvLF7M

Picture of a chinchilla: .com/Files/Images/Image_Gallery/chinchilla_


End file.
